Do you keep getting stuck in the same fights or feeling rejected in your relationship? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill shares an evidence-based talk on the science of “wise and fierce” relationships, then follows with a conversation with athlete and entrepreneur Gabby Reece about what helps partnerships last.

Diana draws on relationship research and her clinical experience to explain why conflict isn’t the main problem—repair is—and on what predicts relationship satisfaction: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfaction. She also discusses research on sexual frequency and how motivation matters more than frequency (“getting it on” vs. “getting it over with”).

Diana offers a practical exercise to help listeners “put down the broom” of rigid stories: write your story about your partner and their story about you, identify the “negative truth,” then (1) create disconfirming evidence by noticing what contradicts your story about them, and (2) do something that proves their story about you wrong. In the conversation, Gabby describes how respect, emotional honesty, daily connection rituals, and sustaining momentum—along with supporting each partner’s individual passions—strengthen her decades-long marriage, and they discuss reframing intimacy bids and avoiding complacency.

Listen and share this episode with someone you want to strengthen a relationship with.

Listen and learn:

• Why repair after disharmony matters more than avoiding conflict
• The key relationship ingredients identified across 43 studies: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfaction
• What the research suggests about sex frequency and why “getting it on” vs. “getting it over with” changes satisfaction

Related Resources:

• Come to Costa Rica with Diana on the Wise Effort Retreat
• Subscribe to Diana’s Substack
• Order and Claim Bonuses from Diana’s new book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most
• Learn from Diana at an upcoming event

About Diana Hill:

Dr. Diana Hill, a modern psychologist, international trainer, and expert on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), is redefining what it means to live with vitality. As a leader in psychological flexibility, she empowers individuals to reclaim and focus their energy in meaningful, sustainable ways. Drawing from the most current psychological research and contemplative practices, Diana bridges science with real-life application to help people cultivate resilience and well-being.She is the host of the Wise Effort podcast and author of several books, including Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, I Know I Should Exercise But…, The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, and ACT Daily Journal. Her insights have been featured on NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Mindful, Woman’s World, Real Simple, The Wise Brain Bulletin, and Psychology Today, among others.Known for her ability to translate complex psychological concepts into practical, actionable steps, Diana makes personal growth accessible and inspiring.

About Gabby Reece:

is not only a volleyball legend, but an inspirational health and fitness leader, podcast host, corporate speaker, New York Times bestselling author, wife, and mother.

The former professional beach volleyball player and Nike’s first female spokeswoman is the definition of both athleticism and beauty. Gabby is a force to be reckoned with in the gym and on a microphone.

Connect With Diana

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