How can you be a high achiever and reach for big goals while still holding on to your values? What do you do when there are just too many good things to choose from in your life? Diana chats with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona about strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you skillfully strive toward meaningful pursuits. Diana and Dr. Z share their personal experiences with striving and talk about letting go of the outcome in service of the process.

About Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona

Dr. Zurita Ona, Dr. Z, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who has significant experience working with children, adolescents, and adults with OCD, trauma, anxiety, and emotional regulation problems. Dr. Z is the founder of the East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, a boutique therapy practice, where she runs an intensive outpatient program integrating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) to support clients getting stuck from obsessions, figure out what they care about, and do stuff that matters to them.

Dr. Z is a behavioral therapist with a passion for evidence-based practices including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Her clinical work is dedicated to helping all her clients to get “unstuck” and live the life they want to live. She is the author of numerous books including Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors: Do Things Your Way, Be Yourself, and Live a Purposeful Life, Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: A Workbook for Adults, and Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster: ACT for the Emotionally Sensitive.

Key Takeaways

• You can live out your values in many different ways. Values are qualities of action, not outcomes
• Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors are not good or bad
• You can pay attention to your body to tell the difference between when you are caught in stressful striving versus values-based striving
• Build self-trust by allowing things to go wrong, living your values, and letting go of the outcome
• We need to be willing to say no, even to good things, to honor your values
• Humans are mini-ecosystems. We are good at producing and consuming, but it’s also important we remember to decompose.

Related Resources

• Download Your Daily Practice for this episode
• Find out what kind of Striver you are and get your free Skillful Striving Toolkit
• Try ACT in your daily life with the ACT Daily Journal
• Want to dive deeper into ACT? Take Diana’s course: Foundations of ACT
• Read Dr. Z’s book Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors: Do Things Your Way, Be Yourself, and Live a Purposeful Life
• Learn more about Dr. Z and work with her at  East Bay Behavior Therapy 
• Listen to Diana’s conversation with Radhule Weininger about Longstanding Recurring Painful Patterns (LRPPs).

Diana’s Events

• Reserve your spot in Diana’s Reset and Restore Retreat in Costa Rica in 2023!
• Sign up for Diana’s From Striving to Thriving Summit!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana

Thank you for listening to Your Life in Process! Subscribe to the podcast for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts. If you have any questions or feedback you can contact Diana by email podcast@yourlifeinprocess.com or leave Diana an audio message at (805) 457-2776. Follow Diana at YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thank you to the team Craig, Angela Stubbs, Ashley Hiatt, and Abby Diehl. Thank you to Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Remember when you become psychologically flexible, you become free.

Episode Segments

• [00:00] – Introduction
• [01:52] – About Patricia Zurita Ona
• [02:53] – Sponsor: Lightfully Behavior Health
• [03:53] – What Does Dr. Z Care About That Brought Her To This Work?
• [07:35] – Perfectionism Isn’t Binary
• [13:19] – Diana’s Body-based Practice For Healthy Striving
• [16:53] – Dr. Z’s Journey With High Achieving Behaviors
• [20:19] – The Upside Of Uncertainty
• [22:46] – How To Relate To Relate To Your Perfectionism Differently
• [28:12] – Check Out Diana’s Foundations of ACT Course
• [28:42] – Competitive Drive Can Be Painful
• [26:24] – Seeing Your Mind For What It Is
• [31:02] – Saying No In The Name Of Your Values
• [38:24] – Seasonal Striving
• [44:16] – Your Daily Practice
• [49:32] – Connect With The Show